chris rock bigger and blacker script

‘Cause some black guy would just kill the president, that’s why! Shit, get the fuck out of here, man! I got some butter.

People are like: “Damn, how much longer is the show?” People love to get high! There’s some real daddies out there. That was my answer to everything, “Martin Luther King!” “What is the capital of Zaire?” “Martin Luther King!” “Can you tell us the name of the woman that would not leave her seat on the bus?” “Oh, that’s hard … “Are you sure it was a woman?

One day, your woman left early. You can’t buy your friend a gift?

l ain’t gonna front. They go to court, start talking some shit (??? Women, you know, they can be good, but sometimes they’re trying not to be too good, you know what I mean? Damn! “I prefer syrup!” I’m not making this up! Shit, we should get Social Security at ! Now your phone’s ringing off the hook. Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web! What?” ”ls it cold outside? I’ll let go when you shut up!

lt ain’t Maharajah Clinton. Hillary’s supposed to already be down there like, ”Hey, I got it. But you’ve got to think about life in the long term. That’s right. I’m almost home. Of course, Al kind of looks like Bookman from Good Times… but don’t let that fuck you up. Shit, some guys have got to go to rehab not to cheat! Ain’t this a bitch! You got to eat right and exercise. ”Yeah, boy, let that ‘tussin get on down to the bone. Fat, black women don’t give a fuck what you think.

“. I want to know who was so … Who ran against him that they lost? That had all the type of black leaders there! People are not thinking about me. l don’t never see no lndians. they’ll treat me like a hero for the rest of my life. It’s against the law to get your friend a job? ”How dare you keep the big piece of chicken!” A man can’t work hours and come home to a wing. You know what happened? And when we hide porno, we go all out. That’s right, you hit the light switch, the whole bookshelf shifts to the side. We don’t live that long. Get him a table dance. You got to love the crust of a motherfucker. So I went to community college, and I said ??? That’s right, what’s gonna happen? ”Do you got a vest? See, your uncles prepare you for life. l want you to suck my dick like you think the antidote’s in it! The guy they fucked in Jamaica: “That’s another country, it doesn’t count!” “I thought we were just talking about domestic dicks!”, Women got it good. Nothing! What about what the men are accustomed to? When you black, the limit’s the sky! People, you know, 5,000 years ago were like, “Damn, this pork is killing everybody!” “How can we get people to not eat pork?” “Ok! Women, it’s hard to figure women out. A white man just jump on his back, ”Main Street. Did she toss your salad? He just didn’t have nobody to be gay with. I’m tired of bumping into these girls at the club… all late on a fucking weeknight.

“Shit, I ain’t going to move back with my mama ’cause you ain’t in love! ‘Cause an old black man went through some real racism. Now you got dry balls. And l’m rich! ”Yeah, grab a ball, make yourself useful.”. We surrender! They don’t cure nothing. l do it all the time. That’s not Pocahontas, that’s Jennifer Lopez!

You just gave her a get-some-dick free card! You know what they’re gonna say before it even comes out their mouth… and you just wanna stab them in the neck with a pencil! What was they on him for? ”Oh, God! You know what? -Who?

No matter what you got, Robitussin better handle it. Don’t eat no red meat? So call me a faggot. ‘Cause Ike was the king of the woman-beaters till OJ took his title! What the fuck was she eating for 4 grand a month? It was six of them. Whenever l meet a girl that doesn’t give head… l look at them like a damn Betamax, ”They still make you?” And when it comes to head, there’s three types of women: A: Women that don’t give head.

I don’t fuck around. You can get a woman to do any nasty little thing you want. ”Man, l would blow your fucking head off, if l could afford it. Do you know what you want? He went on to more prominent film appearances, with starring roles in Down to Earth (2001), Head of State (2003), The Longest Yard (2005), the Madagascar film series (2005–2012), Grown Ups (2010), its sequel Grown Ups 2 (2013), Top Five (2014), and a series of acclaimed comedy specials for HBO.

Shit, I love Tupac, I love Biggie, but school will be open on their birthday. So everybody bitch about how bad their people got it. No, we become Batman when it’s time to hide some porno. No, no. ”Get out the car, get out the fucking car! Men wrote everything. The parents is really fucked up, man. Yeah, you can do it without a man but that don’t mean it’s to be done. Shit, I’d do a drive-by from here to Brooklyn!

Because if that was Jerry Seinfeld tried with double murder and the only person that found the bloody glove happened to be in the Nation of Islam … Jerry’d be a free man! What you got?” ”Why don’t you take this dog and have the dog drag your blind ass around town?” ”That’s all the fuck you got, is a damn dog? Jesse went over there, Jesse got them hostages. She got an outfit on. “Fuck you. What about what the men are used to? The materials archived, stored, and presented here, are copyrighted by their respective contributors, and may not be saved, re-transmitted, republished, or reformatted by any means, electronic or mechanical. You think they’re gonna cure AIDS? Who are the biggest liars, men or women? Failed. That’s right. That might not be money. “I’ll shake this wig off your head! “That was all about race.” That shit wasn’t about race.

Get him a table dance, for Christ’s sake!

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